


Human

by spacesix



Series: Humanity is Relative [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Immortal Fake AH Crew, M/M, ft. semi-motivational speeches by geoff ramsey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacesix/pseuds/spacesix
Summary: Ryan tries to break down what it means for an immortal to be a human. Luckily Geoff is there to put the pieces back together.





	Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thisiswhatmylifehasbecome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisiswhatmylifehasbecome/gifts).



> this is like, a suuuper super duper belated birthday present for thisiswhatmylifehasbecome. happy birthday ryry, and sorry this was so late! i hope you like it <3

“Am I even human anymore?” The sudden question startled Geoff in the relative quiet of the safe house, with the only other noise being the crackle from their walkie talkies and the persistent buzz of the shitty lights above them. It was nearing three in the morning now, almost an hour since they had first arrived there after being split apart from the others by the cops as they fled from the arcade. Ryan had been silent the entire time so far: staring blankly out the window in the car, and now mechanically wiping off his face paint in the bathroom mirror. 

Geoff looked up at him from where he was sat on the lid of the toilet. “What do you mean by that?” Ryan sagged down to sit against the side of the bathtub and wrapped his arms around himself. He looked exhausted, _destroyed_ even. Dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks (he probably hasn’t), a sharp bruise on the corner of his jaw from a poorly-placed punch by a cop, smears of red and black where he hadn’t washed off the paint all the way; it was bad. The harsh fluorescent light reflecting off rotting yellow tile didn’t do much in favor of his appearance, but Geoff had never seen the man look so worn down before. 

“I’ve been alive for millennia, in this line of work for more than half of it. I’ve done horrible, unspeakable things to people and I haven’t felt anything from it since the first time. That’s not something people do, Geoff.” 

“Well, they don’t call us the ‘Gods of Los Santos’ for nothing, Rye-bread.” 

“No, I’m no god. I’m a monster.” 

“Normal people kill all the time without feeling anything too. Besides, we’ve all killed people for hundreds of years. Well, except Jeremy, but he’s getting up there. You’re nothing worse for doing it longer than the rest of us.” 

“No, Geoff, you don’t understand! You’re not even two hundred I’m almost three thousand.” Ryan shrugged out of his jacket and yanked down the collar of his shirt, showing Geoff the tattoo emblazoned across his heart that the man already knew so well. _Mors Mihi Lucrum. ‘Death to me is a reward’_. The tattoo he’d gotten for his thousandth birthday. “I’m old. I’m tired. There’s no feasible reason for my heart to keep beating all these years.” His voice was choked with desperate tears. “You wonder why I do all of the reckless things I do, and this is it. I have never been a god. I’m the shadow, the phantom, the skull, the reaper; I am told to be Death incarnate. There are none who worship me, only many who want me gone. And I’m one of them.” 

He sighed and stood up, grabbing Ryan’s shoulders and hauling him up too. “Heart-to-heart talks in the bathroom are for when you’re shit faced drunk at midnight, and we are not drunk nor is it midnight.” Geoff took him by the hand gently and pulled him down the hall towards the couch, waiting until he got settled again before continuing talking. “Now, that’s not true and you know it, Ryan. What about the others in the crew? I may be the figurehead, but it was you who put us together and gave us a name! The Fakes and Los Santos wouldn’t be names if it hadn’t been for you.” 

Ryan scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure people sing praises to me for forming one of the deadliest gang empires in history. I haven’t been congratulated for killing someone since the days of the Coliseum.” 

“Not everyone likes us, no, but there have to be some people who don’t hate us,” he conceded. “We don’t kill good people, Ryan, that’s a policy you enforced day one of this. “No innocents or civilians unless it can’t be helped, and absolutely no children. Especially that kids thing you’ve got; I swear you must have amassed an entire fucking army of kids at this point. I’m sure all of them would think of you as their savior, not a monster. You beat all their monsters, Ryan.” 

Ryan made a skeptical noise, but his posture softened and he leaned against Geoff’s shoulder. “That doesn’t make up for the things I’ve done.” 

“No, but it’s not like none of us have ever done bad things. Maybe not to your scale, but we’re all killers. Everyone is this shit hole city is a killer, and not everyone shows remorse. We don’t just do bad things, _you_ don’t just do bad things. Yes, we hurt people and we destroy things and cause irreversible damage but we also protect people.” He laid back against the armrest and pulled the other man down to lay on his chest. “You have to pick your battles, Rye, and this is ours. You have to hurt in order to protect the ones you love more, don’t you?” He asked, running his fingers through Ryan’s hair and gently tugging out knots, “You would kill in a heartbeat to protect us. You killed in the past to protect your friends and family before you even knew you were an immortal. You killed to find us one by one and keep us from getting found. You killed to keep us sane through the years and to keep mortals form recording our existence, even at the cost of some really good history books that could have been made. There’s no such thing as a benevolent god, or an evil monster. Even if you are Death or Hades or Kronos or Whoever-the-fuck McBadMan, those guys had to protect the souls they took too, right? They held them in their kingdom or whatever and kept them secure for their own protection and the living’s. They did things that aren’t seen as nice for the good of the all, just like you do bad things for the city.” 

There was a minute’s pause after Geoff finished his speech, and for a second he thought that Ryan had fallen asleep on him. “Kronos is a Titan; and all of those Greek, not Roman. That’s a great offense to Morta and Pluto” he said suddenly. 

Geoff yanked on the chunk of hair in his hand. “Shut the fuck up, asshole!” he shouted, “I’m trying to be sentimental here, you know what I mean!” 

“Yes Geoff, I know what you mean.” Ryan chuckled softly and stretched up to press a kiss to Geoff’s chin. “Thank you.” 

Geoff leaned down to kiss him properly. “You better savor it. You’re not getting that sappy shit out of me again. Now go to sleep; you really will be Death if you start looking any more like him” he said, stifling a yawn. Ryan yawned too. 

“What time is it anyways?” 

“I don’t know and I don’t really give a shit. I’m sleeping for at least five hours or I will kill you myself.” 

“Have the others checked in for our location yet?” 

“We’ll call them in the morning for pick-up.” 

“It is morning, Geoff.” 

“And it’s time for you to shut up, Ryan. I thought you would have learned to do that already mister ‘I’m-three-thousand-years-old’.” 

“Whatever. Goodnight, Geoff.” 

“Goodnight, Ryan.” It didn’t take long for the already exhausted man to drop off, going lax and heavy draped on top of his boss and lover. “You aren’t an evil person, Ryan,” He whispered. “Not good by any means, but not evil, never evil. None of us are.” He wrapped his arms securely around the other man’s shoulders, and fell asleep as the sun rose through the window. 

**Author's Note:**

> catch me at spaceholts.tumblr.com and ryan at thiswhatmylifehasbecome.tumblr.com


End file.
